I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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