One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
True strength comes from lack of pants
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
