Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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