You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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