Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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