she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
