I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
