ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
