Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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