Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
