I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
