try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Randomize