sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
