Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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