Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
