i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
