I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
