One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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