there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
