you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just cut my nipple shaving
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
