he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
