She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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