you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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