So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
