like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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