If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
too bad you live with your parents still
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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