I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
