i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
