After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
