Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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