Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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