i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
