why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
