please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
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