Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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