The maid of honor just puked.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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