we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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