Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
