69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
