shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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