I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
