Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
