Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
