Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Damn victory sex feels great
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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