you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
