You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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