this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
