he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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