Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
My pussy is not your playground.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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