if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
