her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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