how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
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