Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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