This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
