Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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