I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
